The enigma of royalty

  The Queen is an enigma to most visitors to Britain.  They may wonder why she always wears gloves.  So she doesn’t catch germs when shaking hands, duh!  And why does she never carry money?  Can you imagine The Queen rooting around the bottom of one of her 1000 handbags looking for £1.60 in coins for the parking pay and display?  Should you ever find that you are to be presented to The Queen, don’t rush up to her.  She will eventually be brought round to you, like a dessert trolley at a good restaurant. – How do you manage to act charmingly and not look bored at everyone’s questions?’  - A thousand years of breeding.’   ‘I’m doing pretty well considering.  In the past, when anyone left the Royal Family they had you beheaded.’   Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York   ‘We’re all in line to succession to the throne.  If 48 million people die, I shall become Queen.’   Peter Cook   Extracted from  The Oddball English – available on Kindle.  

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